It was never my favourite feeling but it makes you think about some things. I'm not sad right now, just slightly dissatisfied coz I can't help myself.
Thinking about the ideals of life, like:

1) I should work harder
2) Be smarter
3) Have better friends
4) Actually tell someone how you really feel about them
5) exercise more XD
6) socialize with actual humans...the ones that matter anyway
7) take charge for once
8) not let people take advantage of you
9) be honest with yourself

Being disatisfied is inevatable, but I I'll live...
It's the kind of feeling that makes you strive for the better, think about what you've done and assess it. Most people forget to do this, thus no improvement comes with these characters.

Lately I've been listening to a lot of old ballads (coz music nowadays seemed to lack emotion anyways). I've thought about it, but never more. But the recurring emotion through many of the greatest (imo) songs have some sadness woven into it. It's like the sadness brings us together more than a happy pop song could.

 Even in friends, everybody have that special friend(s) that you could open up without fear of apprehension. The one that would hear you out in the middle of the night eventhough they have work or class in the morning.
Someone that would wipe your tears give you a hug and shake (or slap) you to your senses when the time comes.

Guess I have to start looking for one now....or not.

 Sometimes I wonder whether or not I have real sincere friends. I know I should just forget about these kind of people, stop caring about them and stop giving a damn when they need you out of the blue. Maybe it's my fault that I am being such a softie and an over eager yes-man, but I don't know until when I'd have to take it.

Everybody has their limits, I'm afraid I've reached the limit with you. Everything you do irritates me more than you can see, too bad you're too self-centered to see it *sigh*

It's like the mark of true comraderie or companionship whatever. Good times grants you many friends but the bad times help you weed the ones worth saving from the lesser ones.

Instead of wallowing and feeling sorry for yourself, accept the sad situation. God creates everything in balance. One does not know the value of something when it is lost, but they won't necessarily miss it if they don't know what they really had.

Such an emotional post for me. It's just that suddenly I felt so alone in this place. Most of my friends seemed so far away, probably occupied with their lives, bf/gf, new friends to give a damn bout me. It's more or less the same thing here. Too occupied with their love lives and studies.

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 But it's ok, I'd have to manage myself.

Everywhere I see people in groups, friends or the random couple romancing in the background. It must be nice having someone to share your stories with, do stupid silly things together....someone you can count on.

I've learnt the hard way in life, that you can never wholly depend on a person. No matter how close you are with that person, life has a funny way of turning things around.

 But then again, if it is foolish to trust another, then what about trusting oneself?

Granted I'm just a person full of flaws and far from perfect but I'd trust me more. Not because it's selfish but just cause if I did any blunder, the burden falls on my shoulders alone.

Experience vs Logic?

Which would you value more? Experience is always said to be gained only through experiencing a particular situation, hence the word 'experience'.

Logic is a state of mind produced through reason and acquired knowledge with or without attaining any experience before hand.

A conversation with a certain friend got me thinking about the importance (or not) of the mentioned values.

As a person lacking in basic common sense at times (hrm....this explains my hatred towards physics) I sometimes tend to follow what life experience have taught me.

You tend to make many mistakes throughout the journey but then, no one's perfect.? Even if we did stumble across any obstacles, its the fear of humiliation of admitting you've done something wrong that is most difficult to overcome.

 The best thing that you could do in this situation is to ignore them and just focus on what you could do for yourself to make it better.

Nothing teaches us more than failure...

With failure, you would truly appreciate those around you...their support unwavering,

Finding the confidence and resolve to better improve yourself whilst ignoring judging eyes


Sure logic makes us reason all the pros and cons of any situation by analysing and predicting the outcome theoretically. But that's where it stops. Its all in THEORY.

Logic tells us that we should avoid things that can hurt us.

Logic makes sure that we meet all the basic needs required to be alive

but if its up to logic to decide how life should go then...

Why bother making friends? Most people are just looking for other people to use in one way or another. Experience showed me this again and again. But then again....why do I keep making the same old mistakes? Where is the logic in here???

Is it my persistence to believe that there is still good people out there somewhere in the world. That just because you have some dignity and moral values you would expect other people having the same as yours. Sadly its not the case in 99.9%,

The LOGICAL way of thinking in this case may not win me any awards for best friendship ,but it remains true to what is called surviving..

Call it friends with benefits or call it a win-win situation, but using people for our benefit as well as theirs seems to be the only kind of friendship that exists now. The length of this so-called friendship lasts as long as the other is deemed useful to the other person. Once one is considered  a liability, unable to provide any services to them, you will then be cut off, drifting away like a ballon into the unknown. Whether you 'pop' along the way is none of their concern.


.....but then again, experience taught us that nothing is permanent in this life. No matter how good (or bad) things are at the moment, its not going to be forever. Teaching us the value of the present before it becomes a mere memory.

So logic may avoid us from getting into any trouble or misunderstandings but experience is what sets us apart from the rest. Having many 'awesome' stories is always a good thing. It can be used as a:

1) icebreaker

2) killer of awkward situations

3) pickup lines (LOL)

4) swapping stories with friends

5) sharing a moment with a stranger you've just met

6) makes you a less judgmental about things

7) gaining precious life experience



That aside, I don't think it is that wrong to make a few mistakes in your choices that you makes, sometimes the mistakes will guide you to the right path. Maybe when you get to where you want, you won't be the same person as you were in the beginning. You will probably lose some friends, loved ones and even a part of you in the process.

My childhood friends have even mentioned that i have somewhat change through the years.
I can't blame them. But so do they.
Its nothing wrong, its just growing up.